I had borrowed the lab binoculars because in that moment I wanted to bring something home, not knowing when we’d be back. Simulated future me didn’t want to have hoarded PPE. Simulated future me contented herself with hiking around the park looking at birds. She even pointed out how practical binoculars would be in the possible total breakdown of society where I would be camping on a grassy knoll with my water purifier.
Today it was time to purchase my own monocular. Other labmates wanted to use the lab binoculars, my fellowship allowance for small equipment had kicked in, and I wanted to practice observing birds during the famous Spring Migration.
I meditated on my bike trip to and from the curbside pickup. My mask made my breath particularly obvious to attend to, but thoughts of what to write you kept popping up. Imagining getting hit by a car has become a novelty. Rest on my breath… The fabulously friendly guy on the phone who took my order had a monocular he kept in his car to look at parking signs across the street. He was really excited when I told him now is Spring Migration. Rest on my breath… The writer of one of the rave monocular reviews had charmed me by explaining how he had modified the lens cap with an x-acto blade. Rest on my breath… Bliss… Rest on my breath… I’ve been fed up with my left eye, giving it a warm compress multiple times a day. Simulated future me urged the eye to cooperate for binocular vision while holding her breath under her mask to slow the steam fogging up a new pair of nice binoculars. It was not a good team bonding exercise. Plus a monocular is so light it could come backpacking! And it has a nifty setting for extreme close ups! Relax back to my breath… That pigeon beat me up the hill. I blame you for all the distracting symbolism. Rest on my breath… Open to not bliss, still resting with my breath… Biking in the city by a large body of water feels nostalgic. Back to my breath, noticing for the first time how warmly it bounces back on my face inside my mask… I saw that goose before I recognized I’d missed my turn, and it is still preening. Rest on my breath… It may seem inefficient to spend more than an hour biking to procure a monocular, but for simulated future me this was a celebrated achievement.