In American culture, she explained, we define ourselves by what we consume. It’s hard for many people to take pride in what they produce, so brand loyalty fills the hole. Her eloquence attracted me. I probably told her of my many creative pursuits, priding myself as the lucky exception that proved her rule.
Now, a fiery hole at my core rejects her produce/consume dichotomy. A hole, though I produced holograms of fractals, wove both sacred ancient patterns and my own, and published new scientific findings. A hole, though I consumed enough chocolate to get a thank you from a small Bronx chocolatier, almost 25 books in a year, and enough podcasts and netflix to feel both enlightened and numbed. The hole still gapes open, and I’m letting it define me too.