Waiting 1

I’m cloaked in numbness,
Pinching myself, I barely feel it,
I know I cried this morning, didn’t hear it.
Stale sooty air, I know, but also,


So numbed, I’m numbed to what’s numbing me,
Lack energy to find or fight it,
Poking my pen into my fingertips,
Eyelids closed against the sun,


Is this the nothingness of falling?
Or of fading, smalling, wading, music
Masked by traffic, not bothering
To wipe my still-blurred glasses a second time?


What next-to-nothing do I feel?
Constricted breath through my shoulder blades,
Stale mouth feel, friction, inertia,
Mind wandering to what I should feel,
But don’t. Do I wait? What does not waiting
      Look like?

It has been five minutes. Thank you ever so bever so much.